Proverb 29:25 The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.
Every human being needs to feel loved, accepted, and valued. Wanting to be accepted and to fit in is a natural thing everyone experiences. Sometimes the spirit of fear can enter in to cause unnecessary pressure to compromise our values, standards, and beliefs in order to gain that acceptance. Proverb 29:25 says, “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.” This fear of man can open us up to or trap us in a snare of fearing rejection from people.
Fear of rejection is the underlying power of “peer pressure” that causes us to crave recognition and acceptance from the group we want to be identified with. When the spirit of rejection gets on a person they tend to always strive to prove their worth to people, which can be exhausting. Having unrealistic expectations can also set us up for rejection and to take rejection too personal. Some realistic thoughts we should arm ourselves and our children with:
- IT WOULD BE NICE IF EVERYONE LIKED ME, BUT NOT NECESSARY.
No one is liked by everyone. Jesus had favor with God and men (Luke 2:52) yet some did not like Him. Realize we cannot control the actions of others. Daily claim favor with God and men and leave the results up to God Luke 2:52. Keep in mind that you are not alone because rejection happens to everyone and rejection is not fatal. Learn about how God loves, accepts, and values you.
- REJECTION DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE NOT GOOD OR THAT WE ARE DEFECTIVE.
Rejection has nothing to do with our “OK-ness.” God said we are accepted in the beloved (Ephesians 1:6) when we got saved and that means He thinks we are “OK”. He declared us righteous in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21) which means He has judged us right (OK) with Him according to His standard (the highest standard) of what is right (OK). Our heart needs established in righteousness.
- ONE PERSON’S REJECTION IS SIMPLY THEIR OPINION, NOT EVERYONE ELSE’S.
When rooted in rejection we think “something is wrong with me; the real me is not acceptable, so I need to produce a pretend me; or I need to talk, act, dress, and think like someone who seems to be accepted.” We should avoid over generalizations; everybody does not hate us and everything is not our fault.
- REJECTION CAN DO YOU A FAVOR AND KEEP YOU FROM SOMETHING OR SOMEONE NOT GOOD FOR YOU.
Some deduct that since someone rejected me and what was meant to be cannot happen then I will never be happy. Rejection can save you time and emotional energy in relationships and positions that are not meant for you. Would you rather be rejected straight up or be lead on to later be rejected? Rejection can be doing you a favor and sometimes redirect or point you in a different direction you may never have considered.
- REJECTION DOES NOT HAVE TO ALWAYS BOTHER YOU AND ADJUST YOUR DAY.
Sometimes we can think that “rejection will always bother me.” Wrong, we can change your mindset to where rejection does not disturb us, adjust our whole day or even offend us. Psalm 119:165 says, “Great peace have they that love thy law, and nothing shall offend them.” The late Dr. Lester Sumrall said one time, “Wherever I went, people were against me and I was not needed or wanted by them. Someone else was always there saying ‘we don’t need you, we can do what you do, so get away.’ A deep work of the Holy Spirit needs to be done in our lives to get that rejection and condemnation out. Accept in your spirit that you are needed whether people realize it or not. God will use you and you are not where you are to fail. Don’t talk like you aren’t convinced just because they aren’t.” Allow the Holy Spirit who is the Spirit of Truth and Comforter to take these truths and do a deeper work inside you.