2 Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Wanting to be accepted and to fit in is a natural thing everyone experiences but it can often cause unnecessary pressure to compromise our values, standards, and beliefs. Very often the spirit of fear that brings the fear of rejection into the situation beyond the normal desire to belong and to fit in. This fear of rejection is the underlying power of “peer pressure” that causes us to crave recognition and acceptance from the group we want to be identified with. When the spirit of rejection gets on a person they tend to always strive to prove their worth to people, which can be exhausting.
Having unrealistic expectations can also set us up for rejection and to take rejection too personal. We may need to be more realistic and instruct our children to do the same in order to win the mental battle with peer pressure (2 Cor. 10:3-5). Peer pressure can only be beat with spiritual weapons and our responsibility to cast down imaginations, reasonings, and high things contrary to the Word of God. Some realistic thoughts we should arm ourselves and our children with:
1. IT WOULD BE NICE IF EVERYONE LIKED ME, BUT NOT NECESSARY.
No one is liked by everyone. Jesus had favor with God and men (Luke 2:52) yet some did not like Him. Realize we cannot control the actions of others. Daily claim favor with God and men and leave the results up to God Luke 2:52. Keep in mind that you are not alone because rejection happens to everyone. Learn to love yourself unconditionally like God does.
2. REJECTION DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE NOT GOOD OR THAT WE ARE DEFECTIVE.
Rejection has nothing to do with our “OK-ness.” God said we are accepted in the beloved (Ephesians 1:6) when we got saved and that means He thinks we are “OK”. He declared us righteous in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21) which means He has judged us right (OK) with Him according to His standard (the highest standard) of what is right (OK).
3. ONE PERSON’S REJECTION IS SIMPLY THEIR OPINION, NOT EVERYONE ELSE’S.
When rooted in rejection we think “something is wrong with me; the real me is not acceptable, so I need to produce a pretend me; or I need to talk, act, dress, and think like someone who seems to be accepted.” We should avoid over generalizations – everybody does not hate us and everything is not our fault.
4. REJECTION CAN DO YOU A FAVOR AND KEEP YOU FROM SOMETHING OR SOMEONE NOT GOOD FOR YOU.
Some deduct that since someone rejected me and what was meant to be cannot happen then I will never be happy. Rejection can save you time and emotional energy in relationships and positions that are not meant for you. Would you rather be rejected straight up or be lead on to later be rejected? Rejection can be doing you a favor and sometimes redirect or point you in a different direction you may never have considered.
5. REJECTION DOES NOT HAVE TO ALWAYS BOTHER YOU AND ADJUST YOUR DAY.
Sometimes we can think that “rejection will always bother me.” Wrong, we can change your mindset to where rejection does not disturb us, adjust our whole day or even offend us. Psalm 119:165 says, “Great peace have they that love thy law, and nothing shall offend them.” The late Dr. Lester Sumrall said one time, “Wherever I went, people were against me and I was not needed or wanted by them. Someone else was always there saying ‘we don’t need you, we can do what you do, so get away.’ A deep work of the Holy Spirit needs to be done in our lives to get that rejection and condemnation out. Accept in your spirit that you are needed whether people realize it or not. God will use you and you are not where you are to fail. Don’t talk like you aren’t convinced just because they aren’t.” Allow the Holy Spirit who is the Spirit of Truth and Comforter to take these truths and do a deeper work inside you.